More self-indulgent whining about my lack of life.

[duane_kc]

So.

Acquaintance of mine, nice girl, smart, witty, similar interests, posts today about problems with her love life.

No big deal normally, I'm *there* for my friends, y'all know me...but this post really disturbs me for some reason.

"Self," sez I, "why does this bug you so much?" "I dunno," Self replies, "let's think about it for a while."

So I go out for dinner. While I'm sittin' there, the Id comes screaming and snarling up out of my subconscious and puts a boot through my hypothalamus. "You are an IDIOT!"

See, I've been gettin' kind of mixed signals from her. I'd like to get to know her a bit better, take her out, that sort of thing. She seems receptive to the idea, but the couple of times I've asked, I get blown off or she's got something else to do, that sort of thing. Not really sure whether she's actually interested or not.

And it strikes me that she's in the same boat with her guy friends, that I am with her, and *that's* what has me so annoyed at myself.

Y'know, every time I do a Tarot reading for myself, my significator comes up as the Hermit.

Time I just admit that it's permanent and quit tryin'.

Anybody actually needs me, I'll be right where I always am, livin' in a basement, beatin' computer-generated aliens with a crowbar.

Comments

[necrotica.livejournal.com]

*lots of hugs*

[bleuberi21.livejournal.com]

{{{hug}}}

[shaunesay.livejournal.com]

Okay... I hope I can say this in a non offensive way... if it does upset you, please just remember that I intended it in a caring way, not a critical way.

I agree with the quit tryin', but not with the permanent, and not with the idiot. A watched pot never boils, remember that phrase? I know it's so much easier said than done, but I think you need to concentrate on you, on making your life what you want it to be in other ways, rather than worrying so much about having an SO, and maybe, it'll sneak up on ya and KA-BAM! You won't know what hits you!

But here's something else I want to say... I don't like seeing you so down on yourself. You're a great guy, fun to be with, very caring, a good friend. Whether or not you have someone else in your life, does not define your worth. So please stop being so down on yourself because you haven't managed to click with someone else yet. Out of all the bazillions of people in this world, I'm always amazed when two people find each other and are REALLY compatible. That it seems to have happened to me is a miracle I can't begin to comprehend. Too many times I've seen people get together and not able to make it last, so don't rush things, stop trying so hard, i.e., stop making it such an important factor in your life. Worry about you, making you the best person you can, a person YOU like, and who cares what others think. I know you're lonely, at least that's what I'm hearing, and it's hard, many of us have felt the same way. I hear you put yourself down all the time. Okay, so you have things you want to work on, we all do. But stop putting yourself down for it and work on them instead. You have a lot of people that care about you, a lot of friends. Try focusing on what you DO have, rather than what you DON'T, and you might find yourself a bit happier.

I'm not trying to be harsh, I just see a great guy who can't see the forest for the trees, someone who is continually judging their self worth on something they have no control over. The two things have nothing to do with each other! So please, go take a look in the mirror and see the wonderful man that's there, and give him a break! *HUGS*

[ambersaigh.livejournal.com]

I agree. I understand completely about moods and the like, but from what I know of you you're a great person. That's what matters.

[brianmckterp.livejournal.com]

Gotta agree with Melissa.

For everyone haveing the issues with the dating, stop focusing on the needing the SO. I think Christine mentioned it well when she said, Just go out wiht the intentionof enjoying yourself. Work on yourself. If you project an air of confidence and self-esteem, it will be evident to those around you. And that, in itself, is attractive. I'm pretty sure everyone will tell you, it doesn't matter one bit how "gorgeous" you are, if you are so self concious that it masks it.

Love yourself, then others can love you.

[kcwitch.livejournal.com]

hermit doesn't really mean that you know. a lot of times it means you have lessons to learn.

[ladyotterfae.livejournal.com]

*drops a cat on your lap*

stop hiding in your apartment, doofus. Moping about not having an SO is just about the best way I know to not get one, or at least not get one who is worth having.

Do I need to come out there and make you be social or something? (geez...me, threatening to make someone else be social. does anyone else see the problem with this concept?)

[duane-kc.livejournal.com]

Yes. Yes you do.

Seriously, you and I seem to have similar problems getting out and being social, (or at least that's my perception of you, anyway; I freely acknowledge that I'm usually wrong...) and it might do *both* of us some good to have a reason not to hide in our respective apartments.

[ladyotterfae.livejournal.com]

hrm. well, I'm willing (when I'm feeling less crappy, anyway), and within reason, because I actually need _more_ time alone than I get, but also need more pleasant social-type time.

going to have to figure out something, though, 'cause most of my social time is here or StLouis. I'll try to make it there in two weeks for party, etc, but not sure what else I can swing in the immediate future. thoughts?