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{Excerpted from the Book of the Order of the Flaming Leopard Panties, Chapter Twenty-one, verses nine to fourteen...}
...AND Lo, did Mother Lewd Angelica, she who is known in other realms as![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fyreseer, on the next-to-last day of the Kansas City Renaissance Festival in the Year of Our Lady 3173, known to Mundanes as October 13, 2007, declare that the OFLP had not enough men to do all the work, er, torture, no, no, no, appreciate (yeah, that's it...); verily did she come upon a young, innocent boy of some mere forty-one summers sitting quietly by a fence ogling the wenches and thinking depraved and unclean thoughts and say unto him, "Why don't you have an OFLP name yet, Duane?"
GREATLY did Duane hem, and haw, and generally attempt to avoid the question, for he knew he had no excuse, having been invited to the wild depraved parties at Chez Phoenix on many occasions, though never having been able to attend through no lack of desire upon his part, doth he wish greatly to assure the reader.
AND then did Mother Lewd drag this innocent down (willingly, of course), and said unto him, "So what do we call you?" And verily, the floor was thrown open for suggestions from the Peanut Gallery.
AND the suggestion was made to call him Hermano Caca del Toro, until Duane did point out that a name to which one refused to answer to was of limited utility, and mightily did he object to being known as "Brother Bullshit". And lo, did the grammarians among us gnash their teeth in anger greatly at that last sentence.
THEN did the Second-In-Command of the Evil Overlord, He-who-keeps-the List-o'-Rules, speak sagely, and declare that Duane should henceforth and for all time be known as Brother Warden of the Punitentiary. (Yeah, Jesse, another promotion. Deal wit' it. Sleep well, I'll probably kill you tomorrow.)
AND Mother Lewd did grin, and caper, and the Heavens did smile upon the unholy glee shewn on her features, and there was much rejoicing. The spankings and the oral sex would come later, at Castle Anthrax, as had been foretold by the prophet, Monty Python. OR so hoped the newly-invested Brother Warden, who, having been told to wite the information in the Book, known to many far and wide as LiveJournal, promptly forgot it.
{Thus endeth the day's lesson. Hail Eris, all hail Discordia, She What Done It All.}
...AND Lo, did Mother Lewd Angelica, she who is known in other realms as
fyreseer, on the next-to-last day of the Kansas City Renaissance Festival in the Year of Our Lady 3173, known to Mundanes as October 13, 2007, declare that the OFLP had not enough men to GREATLY did Duane hem, and haw, and generally attempt to avoid the question, for he knew he had no excuse, having been invited to the wild depraved parties at Chez Phoenix on many occasions, though never having been able to attend through no lack of desire upon his part, doth he wish greatly to assure the reader.
AND then did Mother Lewd drag this innocent down (willingly, of course), and said unto him, "So what do we call you?" And verily, the floor was thrown open for suggestions from the Peanut Gallery.
AND the suggestion was made to call him Hermano Caca del Toro, until Duane did point out that a name to which one refused to answer to was of limited utility, and mightily did he object to being known as "Brother Bullshit". And lo, did the grammarians among us gnash their teeth in anger greatly at that last sentence.
THEN did the Second-In-Command of the Evil Overlord, He-who-keeps-the List-o'-Rules, speak sagely, and declare that Duane should henceforth and for all time be known as Brother Warden of the Punitentiary. (Yeah, Jesse, another promotion. Deal wit' it. Sleep well, I'll probably kill you tomorrow.)
AND Mother Lewd did grin, and caper, and the Heavens did smile upon the unholy glee shewn on her features, and there was much rejoicing. The spankings and the oral sex would come later, at Castle Anthrax, as had been foretold by the prophet, Monty Python. OR so hoped the newly-invested Brother Warden, who, having been told to wite the information in the Book, known to many far and wide as LiveJournal, promptly forgot it.
{Thus endeth the day's lesson. Hail Eris, all hail Discordia, She What Done It All.}
